Now I know that you’re probably thinking “Oh god, not another person coming out on the internet” Now wait wait wait.
1) That’s kind of rude, if someone wants to come out online, that is their choice
2) This is sorta/not sorta a coming out thing.
I say this because 1) I’m not gay, I’m not Bisexual, Non-Binary, Pansexual, or Transgender.
The reason I don’t know exactly how to word this, is because there are people who think this does belong in the LGBT, and others who do not. This sexuality is called Asexual, and I am in one of the categories of this.
I’m still figuring out my life, but with as much research as I’ve done, I’ve come to realize that I feel as if I belong in the Demisexual Category.
Already, I can feel the screeching of “Noooo”s out on the internet, because again, not everyone believes that Demisexuality is something real. Or Asexuality.
But here’s the thing; Its real to me. I know what I want, I know my own body and mind, and all that stuff. People who feel that it isn’t real; I’m sorry you feel that way. But it’s real to me.
My sexuality has always been a confusing thing for me. Obviously, as a kid, I never really knew Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual was a thing. As I grew older, I started to think maybe I was bisexual, but again, I never knew anything about it, so I assumed.
I never ‘Experimented’ because I am quite literally a coward. But, I do know, that I have kissed guys before.
I got butterflies, and all that jazz, but as I kissed them, it felt weird. In the sense that “Why are we kissing? Kissing is weird, dude.”
I’m not a very sexual person either. I don’t have the desire to grab a dude’s ass (Do girls really do that?), or admire someone’s body. To me, that’s kind of weird, and I honestly have no idea why girls are so interested in guys’ butts.
Yes men, girls gossip about your butt behind your back.
I personally aren’t impressed with a guy’s muscles, or a guy’s ass (Still weird to me). I look at someone’s personality.
Yes, I do still look for attractive features, but not in the sense of muscles and what I explained above.
I’m not one for facial hair, but if it looks good on you, hot damn, you go handsome man. If you’ve got glasses, that might be a yes for me too, because I’m a sucker for slightly nerdy looking guys (No offense intended?).
I’m more into the Pop Punk/Punk/Rock/Alternative scene, and in that case, if you’re a guy and have long hair, 99% you just stole my heart. But anyway;
I look for someone’s personality. If they can make me smile, laugh, and just all around be happy, you probably stole my heart. If I can have serious conversations with you without crying (I cry or get close to crying to literally EVERY serious convo), then congratulations, you probably have my heart.
If I can be my stupid self around you, you make me happy. But muscles and abs, and an ass? That’s not what I’m all about.
Why am I explaining this to you? To you as a reader?
This isn’t just a place for you. This is a place for me to release my thoughts, to scream to the mountaintops, to release my anxiety, my fears, my occasional depression, and to make myself okay.
This place is one of my saviors.
But enough of that.
My point in this entire post is this; I am a person, with real feelings, thoughts, wants, needs, emotions…and so are the people around you who are demisexual. Fraysexual. Cupiosexual. Graysexual. Lithosexual, Aromatic, and so many others. We’re all just people.
We can have sex, reject it, or have it under circumstances.
We’re just fucking people. And we’d love to be accepted.